Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
