I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
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i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
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i've created a new STD.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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