I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
