I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
