you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
