you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
