cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
