Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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