the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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