He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
