I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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