I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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