He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
