things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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