Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
