She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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