Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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