How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in your delicious
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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