Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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