chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Send help, water and tortillas.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Two words: blizzard sex
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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