I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
