what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
