Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
