Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
