Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
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Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
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When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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