at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize