He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
