my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
