Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
