If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
