Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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