Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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