im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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