Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
is it fun? or sober?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
