for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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