yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
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I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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