She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
