make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
