he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
