if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
