that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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