I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
