This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
