where am i from again
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
