oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
