Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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