Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
