i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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