NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
