Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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