I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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