Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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