you traded sex for a burrito?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
