she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
