What did we do last night that was yellow?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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