she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
