He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
