Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
