I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
